NOTE: This is one of a continuing series of blogs on the current situation in our West Chester, Ohio parish.
ONLY A FEW OF those who recently left us took the time to tell me or Bishop Dolan why.
One common theme among those we did hear from, though, was almost always some old offense — a perceived injury committed a long time ago against the parishioner by clergy, staff or fellow parishioner.
In a few cases, the offense mentioned took place more than a decade ago. One man wrote to reproach us for how we treated his misbehaving son ten years ago. Another complained that we did not support the school as we should have when he was involved with it twelve years ago. And this man wrote an article on the topic — an article! — which a hate-SGG attack site then solemnly posted.
Those who organized the recent campaign of contention against our church encourage all such bitter recollections. Even your kids are invited to report them. Everything can be arranged into “dark patterns” and then added to numbered lists.
In a previous article, “School Dazed,” I pointed out that in disputes like these, unhappy parishioners feel that every last piece of unpleasant emotional baggage, no matter how old or how battered, has to be sent up the baggage chute, run around the conveyer belt for display, and then claimed by anyone else who wants it.
One sympathetic parishioner told me that sort of thing happens with conflicts in a marriage. One fresh offense by your spouse seems to carry with it all his past offenses. But you cool yourself off by remembering your ultimate choice: forgiveness or divorce.
In our dispute here, she added, having a priest eager to set up shop down the street offered people the option of a quick divorce. So for them, the forgiveness option was never on the table.
What is truly a source of amazement to me — and as a priest, admittedly, a source of some discouragement as well — is the tenacity that people have in clinging to these old offenses. And some of the worst clingers were among the seemingly devout — those who would make a real effort to attend or serve for an extra Mass or service during the week.
The old joke told about the Irish or (depending on your audience) Italians can be reworked very nicely here.
Q: What’s the definition for “Traditionalists’ Alzheimer’s Disease”?
A: You forget everything but the grudges.
Instead of forever dragging along all your old baggage to send up the chute, how about just leaving it in the room marked “Unclaimed”?